Ta da! The Katies – 2010

by Katie on December 23, 2010

WINNERS

THE TEAM CHUTZPAH FASHION GENIUS AWARD – Mary Katrantzou. Manolo Blahnik loves her lampshade, the Swiss love her textiles, we love her S/S 2011 collection.  Now the recipient of BFC NewGen sponsorship, we can’t wait to see what Mary does next.


THE AWARD FOR MOST CRIMINALLY OVERLOOKED COLLECTION – Richard Nicoll for Cerruti.  Restrained.  Elegant.  The kind of clothes that rich, white women with vanity labels wish they could design (if they could draw, that is).

THE ‘WE WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT BUT WOW DID YOU BOWL US OVER’ AWARD – Raf Simons at Jil Sander’s S/S ’11 collection managed to move the entire fashion industry to tears of gratitude and happiness.  Making the evening skirt an object of joy, Raf colour clashed to his heart’s content. We love.  We want.

THE WHO THE F*** IS MIRANDA PRIESTLY? AWARD – Hannah Marshall, front row of her mates’ shows.  The lovely Holly Fulton.  Ripping up the Fashion Bitch rule book.  Nice is the new nasty.  I might even try it myself sometime.* (*Not really).


THE AWARD FOR SERVICES TO DRESSING US MERE MORTALS – Reiss. “Catherine” Middleton and David Gandy may love Reiss as well, but their affordable, stylish, well -constructed dresses and suits have been, and will be, keeping us chic for years.  Brilliant knitwear, too and a storming S/S ’11 womenswear collection to look forward to.  Go Team Reiss.


THE AWARD FOR MOST INSPIRATIONAL FASHION JOURNO (STILL) Hilary Alexander.  Need we explain?  The woman’s a dynamo and unremittingly enthusiastic.  Puts all those self obsessed, po-faced, front row drabzoids to shame.

THE AWARD FOR ‘WE MAY BE DOWN BUT WE’RE FAR FROM OUT’  London Fashion Week.  Amidst the gazillions of show and a confusing schedule, there was real raw talent that only London can offer.  You don’t and won’t see that stretch of sheer imagination in downtown NY or Paris.  Ever.

TEAM CHUTZPAH’S HERO OF 2010 – Tom Ford For keeping us on our toes, and delivering when most other designers would’ve been crushed by the hype.  It’s Tom’s world now and we merely live in it.

THE AWARD FOR MOST INSPIRATIONAL AND INFORMATIVE PRIVATE EXHIBITION  Goes to Harrods for ‘The Perfume Diaries’.  Regret it if you missed it.  Hundreds of inspirational fragrances with their history, seamlessly intertwined.  Seventh Heaven.

THE AWARD FOR MOST GLOBALLY CONSISTENTLY FABULOUS – Daphne Guinness.  This lady inspires us daily.  And, her Commes fragrance is still the most deeply luscious, intoxicating scent around.  Who wouldn’t want to be Daphne?  Are you mad?

SINNERS


THE WHO SPIKED THE PR’S VITAMIN WATER? AWARD – Kerry Katona at Giles.  The No Bloggers rule at the live streamed Burberry show.  Diana Vickers as a front row fixture just about anywhere.  Oh yes.  That’ll work.


THE FIRST ANNUAL STEPFORD AWARD – Global Gaga-isation.  Lady Gaga tears through fashion at the rate of knots, and other seemingly right minded women (Rihanna, Kelly Rowland) are left to drag up unconvincingly in her wake.  As anticipation of her second proper album begins to build, we shudder to think how she’ll top that meat dress.


THE AWARD FOR MOST SOUL-SUCKING WASTE OF THE PUBLIC’S TIME – ‘The X Factor’ Minus the Dannii vs. Cheryl fashion frock-off, this was just bad televised karaoke which only kept us hooked through the policy of discarding the most talented contestant each week.  Matt Cardle may have won but we are all losers thanks to Simon Cowell.

THE AWARD FOR ‘WHAT NO ONE WITH TASTE WOULD EVER REALLY WEAR UNLESS IT HAD A DESIGNER NAME TAG’ – Prada’s banana earrings and baroque monkey prints with stripes.  Is this a joke?  Did I miss the punchline?  Not looking forward to the obvious high street versions, especially in the mornings.  I have to use public transport and I am often hungover.  Let that be a warning.

THE WORST FRAGRANCE NAME OF THE YEAR AWARD – Womanity by Thierry Mugler.  Truly sounds like the name of some bad ‘self help’ book or a menopausal product.

THE BLINK AND YOU’LL MISS IT AWARD FOR BRIEFEST FASHION REVIVAL – Minimal.  A nice idea in theory but too unforgiving and impractical for most normal women.  As the high street begins to mark down the unsold camel coats, it makes us wonder just how influential British Designer of the Year Phoebe Philo actually is?

THE GENERALISED ‘ALL ABOUT ME’ AWARD FOR DULL BLOGS – Eg.  THIS IS ME in florals, THIS IS ME in camel, THIS IS ME in shorts.  *just stands there*   Fine if that floats your boat but, really?  It’s about as interesting as watching paint dry.

THE AWARD FOR SERVICES TO MASS HYSTERIA AND MIND CONTROL – Joint winners:  Lanvin and Hennes.   Almost a month on, we’re still wondering how Alber and H and M managed to pull the wool over so many eyes. You could pick up a decent frock for the same price as this poorly-made tat.  In the end, it all came down to frayed seams.  Plus ca change at Hennes.

THE AWARD FOR WORST PREMIUM BRAND PAIRING EVER – Jimmy Choo and Uggs = Chuggs.  Making things of beauty and function respectively, tres ugly.  Not covetable.

TEAM CHUTZPAH’S ZEROES OF 2010 – By unanimous decision, The ConDem Government. An obvious choice maybe, but that daily feeling of being ground down is only getting worse.  A hike in VAT and National Insurance, coupled with higher than expected inflation, mean that 2011 is already looking tough.  Venal, gid-destroying despot dementors.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Lisa December 23, 2010 at 7:48 pm

To me Womanity sounds like a 1980’s lesbian club night.

Reply

Chérie City December 25, 2010 at 2:20 am

Yes yes to all the sinner, I’m not feeling the Prada ‘nanas either!
I wasn’t impressed with Tom Ford’s collection though. Putting Lauren Hutton in a white trilby and 3-piece suit is unforgivable.
Yay to Daphne and Hilary…and can we add Suzy?
xx

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