Chutzpah’s Weekly Barometer

by Katie on June 18, 2011

A light hearted look back over the past week’s good, bad and indifferent including the “don’t even go there’s”.

OSMAN YOUSEFZADA FOR FREDA AT MATCHES – The refined elegance of Osman’s signature collection bowled us over back in February so we can’t wait to see what he has up his sleeve for Freda, Matches’ in-house label, next season.  Expect subtle Seventies-inspired  minimalism.

SHISEIDO BENEFIANCE WR24 DAY CREAM AND CLEANSING FOAM – La Chutzpah has used the cleansing foam for years and swears by its silky smoothness and now its newly stocked on QVC, it’s simply a click away.  QVC price£68.36 Item Number 226261 

PRABAL GURUNG RESORT COLLECTION 2012 – We’re ever so slightly bored of fashion films over at Chutzpah Mansions, but this collaboration between MObama fave Gurung and Baltimore rapper Rye Rye brightened up our week.

NATURAL GREY HAIR – So fierce on Kristen McMenamy that we’re considering ditching the dye.

OJON’S COLOUR SUSTAIN RANGE – And, if you don’t want to ditch the dye for a while longer, Ojon continues to impress with its Colour Sustain range which hyrdates colour treated hair and gives shine and vibrancy with it’s ojon oil, Tahitian Monoi oil mix.  Ojon’s an instant pick-me-up for the soul as well as hair.   It’s luxuriant texture and rich efficacy is all about loving yourself.  Shampoo (£18) and conditioner (£19.50) available at Harrods, John Lewis and Fenwick stores.

LOVING YOURSELF – Daisy Lowe and Lara Stone own up to esteem issues, anorexia amongst young mothers increases, and even ‘Patron Saint of Real Women’, Nigella, admits to having a wobble about her wobbly bits.  We say it’s time to stop beating ourselves up.

DOING A ‘FUNDA’ – As in, Funda from E4’s “Made in Chelsea’s” habit of turning up apropos of nothing and storming in, in a flurry of denim, hair and attitude, causing a fracas and exiting.  We love.

‘HORSE MEAT DISCO III’ – Their renowned Sunday night sessions have led to many a missing Monday, and now the gang unleash their third compilation on an unsuspecting public.  We defy you not to dance to this stunning selection of (controversially) recent productions and re-edits.

RODARTE COUTURE – A sneak peek of this ten-piece couture collection (pictured right) from the Mulleavy sisters has left the cognoscenti breathless.

PRINCE HARRY – “Big Ginger” in his tighty-whitey polo gear is another of this week’s highlights.  Form an orderly queue ladies.  “Pippa, get in line love”.

ROJA PARFUMS – Fragrance demi-god with the Rock Star style, Roja Dove, launches an eponymous range of fine fragrances and scented candles exclusively in Harrods’ Black Perfumery Hall in July.  Our over eager noses simply can’t wait to try.  

LANVIN’S NO EMAIL WEDNESDAY – Inspirational, if a little scary.  Try it.  Pick up a phone. Get up from your desk and speak to somebody face-to-face.  See?  Wasn’t so hard, was it?



KATIE PRICE – Another desperate plea for attention via a world record book signing.  We would be more amazed if it was a book that she’s actually written.

TODDLER SPRAY-TANS – Where else but Essex would you find beauty salons willing to turn your infants oompa-loompa orange?

ROYAL ASCOT – Any semblance of class has long departed a racecourse now flooded with the same shiny dresses and ridiculous headpieces favoured at Aintree. The pictures we’ve seen so far have redefined the word “common”.

LOUIS VUITTON’S ‘CORE VALUES’ CAMPAIGN – LVMH, we love you but you’re rightly being called out for showing a shoeless Angelina Jolie with an £6000 designer handbag in a swamp in Cambodia.  What this “more money than sense” message says about Vuitton’s core values we have no idea, but we suspect that it’s more than a little patronising.

“RECYCLING” – Or, more precisely, when used as lazy tabloidese to describe when somebody famous, or a Royal, wears the same thing twicezzz.

CLUB KIDZ DRESSING WEIRDLY OUTRAGEOUS AND MAKING LIKE IT’S 1981-1985 AGAIN – Give you a clue, it isn’t.  In those days, it was a reaction (like Punk) against something, now it’s just about  attention seeking fame and mememe’ness.  (See Daniel Lismore here, pictured at his party this week). Boy George’s 50th party was this personification of this with youngsters tripping over themselves to ‘shock’ while the adults who did it all first time (at Blitz, Trash and Kinky Gerlinky’s) looked on like ‘so bless’.  We blame Gaga and her ilk.  Just not the right zeitgeist kidz.  

CRASS PRESS RELEASES – We won’t name the diet supplement whose offensive press release inferred that we would die fat and alone through break-up bingeing, a level of stupidity equalled by Debenhams who, whilst informing us of the current menswear trend to undo three shirt buttons (the hours must fly by in that office), suggested that “you only need to look at Simon Cowell vs. Louis Walsh on the X Factor to know that button-free fashion gets the girls”.  Boke.

THE TERRY FAMILY HOLIDAY – Mum poses in a swimsuit more suited to Stringfellows than relaxing by the pool as Dad plays with the kids.  Mum and Dad frolic in the surf whilst the children build sandcastles.  John Terry and family star in possibly the most delusional attempt to sweep history under the carpet ever.  We don’t blame Toni for standing by her handsomely-paid professional footballer, but whoring out their kids for a photo op is tackier than her extremely tacky cossie.

THE LATEST BECKHAM PREGNANCY – Displaying serious ‘Mother of the Year’ credentials, Victoria Beckham announces that she’s far too busy to take maternity leave.  Her daughter’s had nine months (8-and-a-half for good behavior) in her womb already, why should she take up any more of Victoria’s time?

This week’s Barometer jointly complied by Lee Clatworthy (@TeamChutzpah) and Katie Chutzpah.  Please let us know what you think about this week’s comments in the box below.

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