Chutzpah’s Weekly Barometer

by Katie on March 10, 2012

A light hearted look back over the past week’s good, bad and indifferent including the “don’t even go there’s”.
LOVING

Footmen – Next Winter’s ultimate luxury is a suited-and-booted man (pillbox hat a prerequisite) to carry your bags* for you. (*And we don’t mean the Waitrose or Aldo shopping variety). Trust Louis Vuitton to start the trend at their A/W’12 catwalk show.

NEW Rouge D’Armani Sheer lipsticks – From the glossy black case with its metallic snap shut lid to the glistening sharp red (or bright pink or orange) within, this is sheer class (pun intended). A translucent base core formula with a creamy texture, the lipstick is sheer yet gives enough colour for day and office wear. This makes a refreshing difference to the sticky lip gloss options. Available at Selfridges from 8th March and on counter nationwide from April 2012.

James Cameron, National Geographic and Rolex – We famously know more about our Solar System than we do about our oceans. Boundary-pushing director James Cameron wants to change that, and has partnered with National Geographic and sponsor Rolex to explore the Mariana Trench, our world’s deepest point.

Kenzo – Critics waded in all guns blazing when Opening Ceremony’s Humberto Leon and Carol Lim were appointed Creative Directors of Parisian fashion house Kenzo, but now they’ve been silenced with the duo’s coolly commercial Autumn/Winter collection (pictured right).

Attack of the Killer Model – In a freak accident Wednesday night, a 15-ft billboard featuring supermodel Kate Moss fell over on London’s Oxford Street, injuring four people. We’re sure it’s not the first time our Kate has collapsed in W1 requiring the aid of emergency services.

YSL – Break out the baby food, former head of Dior menswear Hedi Slimane’s back in the fashion game. Also announced this week, ‘Saint Laurent Rive Gauche: Fashion Revolution’ – a collaboration between Saint Laurent’s former partner Pierre Berge and Jeromine Savignon, the publication explores the designer’s continuing influence on modern fashion. Published by Abrams & Chronicle April 2012.

Biodroga Men – Cutting edge skincare firm Biodroga launch a range specially formulated to combat the daily ravages men’s skin endures. Available from BeautyConcepts.co.uk

Abercrombie & Fitch – Penalising their beautiful staff for mistakes with press-ups and squats, we can think of certain offices we’ve worked in which need to enforce the same policy.

‘Future Disco Vol. 5: Downtown Express’ – As BBC4 showed us this week, disco has never died. This latest instalment of the Future Disco compilation series features the hottest tracks from the contemporary disco scene in one seamless mix.

The Dress For Success/Little Black Dress Vodka celebrity auction – Global film stars, such as Scarlett Johansson and Sienna Miller, have donated dresses in support of Dress for Success, a charity which provides much-needed support and career development tools for disadvantaged women. Bidding begins 9th May 2012.

Rimmel’s Waterproof Gel Liner (£6.49) This little gem does the trick and swiftly and allows the user to be extra special adept and creative with those ‘Amy’ flicks. The top screws off and the precision brush applicator is exactly the right length to allow you to work with ease. Loving the formula that lasts up to 25 hours. Bargain.


Bel Ami – Though the critics have been lukewarm about this new movie, it shows that Robert Pattinson is growing as a leading actor to more than teenage flicks. With gorgeous costumes from La Bell Epoque and Uma Thurman as well as Christina Ricci starring, it’s worth catching.

NEW Payot’s Hydra 24 – One of my favourite French skincare brands, Payot has just released a new range to hydrate continuously, quench and replenish thirsty skin of all types. PAYOT’s new line of hydrating face products: HYDRA 24, including Hydra 24 Light emulsion, Hydra24 Masque and Demaquilant Sensation Soothing Cleanser all contain a ‘hydro drip’ system that helps control the entire water circulation system (surface moisture, underlying moisture and in-depth moisture). Launching Spring 2012, call 0207 494 6220 for stockists.

HATING

Casual sexism – From gender-stereotyped care instructions in men’s trousers, to demeaning insults labelled as “banter”, the current trend for casual sexism is an unwelcome throwback from 90’s “New Lad” culture. We won’t name the Italian brand which circulated a photo of a male model in his underwear, but we get the feeling that they didn’t quite get the point of International Women’s Day either.

Mantyhose – Ironically, the feminisation of the male wardrobe continues apace. Wear with a Marc Jacobs-style shirtdress and chunky shoes for the full ‘Mister Sister’ look. But we’d rather you didn’t.

Hermes – Normally classy luggage house Hermes bring the brash and flash with miniature rose gold and diamond-studded versions of the brand’s iconic bags, designed by accessories maestro Pierre Hardy. Costing a mere £1.2 million a piece, we’re counting down the days to when we spy one attached to a voraciously avaricious Kardashian sister.

The Rumour Mill – Overshadowing the season, Slimane’s instalment at YSL made more copy than most of the Paris collections. With the latest gossip suggesting Leonard’s Maxime Simoens is now in the frame for the Dior post, we just want Bernard Arnault to put everyone out of this overly-prolonged misery.
Diet Coke – Cynically adopting Jean Paul Gaultier as Creative Director, the underlying message being that women will drink anything if it’s prettily packaged, no matter how bad. Paris Hilton, in an unnaturally lucid moment, once remarked that “Only fat people drink Diet Coke”. If that’s the case, why does this soft drink brand continue to flirt with the fashion industry?

‘Proud’ by JLS – The song, in support of this year’s Sport Relief, is bad enough. The video, featuring a class of schoolkids and our favourite scoop-neck sporting soulsters getting dewy-eyed in a stadium, induces fresh levels of nausea.

St. Tropez Dark – Devastating on Ocean Drive, downright naff for trolling around Bluewater or Westfield East London.

Christine Bleakley and Jack Osbourne for Reebok and CrossFit – You can’t argue with the message, Reebok partnering with strength and conditioning programme CrossFit to endorse shorter, more intensive workouts, however the choice of celebrity spokespeople, especially in this year of promoting sporting excellence, seems like a missed opportunity and smacks of who was available on the day.

Rihanna’s dad – We actually couldn’t care enough about Rihanna’s music, but we’re feeling kind of sorry for the singer after her own father accused her of looking “a little fat” and praised abusive ex-boyfriend Chris Brown.

‘The World According To Joan’ – The publishing equivalent of being forced to listen to a pensioner complaining at a bus stop, former ‘Dynasty’ superbitch and rabid Tory, Joan Collins’ collection of kvetches lambasting the modern world makes us wonder why a) we spent so long loving her and b) “Why aren’t you dead yet?”.

DON’T CARE

Vogue Italia’s Haute Mess story – Another non-controversy, accusations of racism surrounding Steven Meisel’s Haute Mess shoot for Vogue Italia. You would have to search long and hard for the offence cited in this trailer-trash-meets-John-Waters fashion story, the models more resembling drag queens than any racial stereotypes. We spy more ‘Haute Messes’ in London’s East London on the (very) odd occasions we have to be there.

‘L’Odyssee de Cartier’ – Though it’s awesome visually, we’re left a little bit uncomfortable by Cartier’s sprawling film, which seems more designed with Christmas in mind than the oncoming Springtime. With even more of us feeling the crunch, from unemployment to middle-class families threatened with higher mortgage payments and the loss of child benefit, there’s nothing that says “We’re in this together” like a multi-million pound CGI advertisement flogging unattainable products at stratospheric prices. Check out this lengthy promo ‘short film’ below and see how it highlights the ever-widening gulf between the Haves and Have-Nots. Guess what we are?


Weekly Barometer compiled by Lee Clatworthy (@TeamChutzpah) and Katie Chutzpah. Please let us know what you think of this week’s selection.

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