Chutzpah’s Weekly Barometer

by Katie on May 18, 2012

A light hearted look back over the past week’s good, bad and indifferent including the “don’t even go there’s”.


Louis Vuitton stationery – In the pipeline, apparently. Watch your backs Smythson.

Cannes – For most, Cannes is the official beginning of the Summer season, featuring enough fabulous show-stopping gowns to satisfy even the most demanding fashion addict. (Marion Cotillard pictured left in Christian Dior).

StrangeBeautiful for Liberty – Artist Jane Schub’s niche nail varnish brand teams up with department store Liberty for a new collection of arresting colourways. Launching next week.
‘Veep’ – New US television series centred on a disillusioned American Vice-President from ‘The Thick of It’ creator and satirical genius Armando Iannnucci, coming to the UK in June.  We can’t wait.
Great British Fashion stamps – The Royal Mail’s new set of limited edition stamps feature the most iconic post-war British fashion designers, such as Alexander McQueen, Hardy Amies, Jean Muir, and Tommy Nutter, to name but a few.

Maria Grachvogel and Brain Tumour UK – Fresh from dressing Emma Thompson for the British premiere of ‘Men In Black III’, the London-based designer launches a ‘Dream’ charm in aid of charity Brain Tumour UK. Available from and

Collection 2000 Lasting Colour Eye Gel – Easy to apply and bang on the money (£4.99), this little pot of goodness is a boon to your make-up bag. Very teal, very now. Available from Superdrug. Also available in Gold, Brown and Black. and the Tate Gallery – Now we can all afford a masterpiece in our homes, thanks to custom wallpaper printing company JW Walls.

Aramis Perfume Calligraphy – Developed with the Middle Eastern market in mind, and exclusively sold by luxury retail Mecca Harrods, this blend of citrus, spice, and aromatic woods looks set to become the cult must-have fragrance this Summer.
Le Teint Touche Eclat  Twenty years on, this staple of every A-list star’s make-up bag has been reformulated as a foundation. Available in twenty-two shades, the new formula contains a “soft-focus gel” designed to smooth imperfections and with a weightless texture. Launches Selfridges and Brown Thomas (Ireland) on 28th June and nationwide from 9th July. (£28)
Romeo Gigli – Back, BACK, BACK!!! for Autumn/Winter 2012. The original king of draped silk returns to steal his crown back from Haider Ackermann, with an eagerly awaited collection for Hong Kong retailer Joyce. We’re all over it like orange spray tan on TOWIE.

Muubaa leather jackets – If it ever stops raining, we’re digging out our butter soft leathers from Muubaa once again. Hot on our list of ‘wants’ is this gorgeous S/S’12 pale lobster jacket (£389). Smooth and sleek does it every time. 

’60 Minute Makeover’ (ITV) “We’re sorry that you’ve lost your husband, so we’ve painted over your wallpaper, and turned your Rochdale two-up/two-down into a beige B&Q faux-minimal travesty”.

Kristen Stewart – Seriously, how the Hell does she do that to clothes? We bet her stylist goes home and just cries and cries.
Karl Lagerfeld and Snoop Dogg – In the same music video. Much like raining fire and brimstone, or the dead rising, we suspect that this is yet another sign of the impending End of Days.
Musicals – With Hollywood bereft of fresh ideas, we guarantee that an emaciated and airbrushed Tom Cruise in ‘Rock of Ages’ is just the tip of the iceberg. With an all-star ‘Les Mis’ to follow, the only eventual conclusion to this worrying trend is a ‘Grease’ remake featuring Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus.
“Smartphone Face’ – According to new research, staring down at our phones and laptops leads to a decrease in the skin’s elasticity, making us all look older.
‘The Dictator’ – Team Chutzpah was forced to sit through this woeful comedic effort from the usually hilarious Sacha Baron-Cohen. Unless you find jokes about receiving oral sex from decapitated heads, and sexually abusing South American teen-pop sensations Menudo, unbearably amusing, we suggest that you don’t repeat his mistake.
DIY haircuts – Thank you Lee Stafford, but we’ll leave ours to the professionals, lest we end up looking a little “Derelicte” or, even worse, a student denizen of the East End.

Chatsworth (BBC1) – If you’re expecting insights and background on Debbo Mitford, forgedaboudit. If you’re into lots of shots of golf buggies, pensioners, polishing of silver, waxing lyrical on nadda and showboating members of ‘Team Fey’, this is defo your thing.

R.I.P. Donna Summer – Donna Summer’s talent touched millions of lives. The singer was without parallel, and a world without her seems a lot less brighter. Disco lights on dim.


Agyness Deyn’s acting career – We’re sure that Aggy’s a lovely girl, but we’re unable to summon up the enthusiasm that her new role in Terrence Davies’ new film ‘Sunset Song’ has induced in some over-excitable fashion journalists. As a Scot with a love of Lewis Grassic Gibbon, Katie assures us that this had better be good. Wake us up when she’s accepting an Oscar.

Ellesse Heritage x FAC51 The Hacienda – Peter Hook whores the Hacienda brand out to sportswear manufacturer Ellesse, who churn out a typically terrace casual-friendly range of polo shirts, boasting branded metal buttons made from authentic Hacienda floor – WTF? Launched at a champagne reception in Harvey Nichols, which couldn’t be further from the ethos of the world’s first Super Club, Ellesse rub salt in the wound by throwing in a free 12” vinyl record with every purchase. Ergo, a generation’s clubbing memories are commoditised, sold on to consumers either too young , too rich, or too southern to remember the Hacienda’s influential club nights the first time around, and its enduring legacy is reduced to the same superficial level as those Ramones/CBGB’s T-shirts.

Weekly Barometer compiled by Lee Clatworthy (@TeamChutzpah) and Katie Chutzpah. Go on, leave us a comment!
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