It’s only Day 2 of LFW and already we’re getting the lows (as well as the fashion highs) and we’re not even at Hump Day. Which in LFW terms is tomorrow, Sunday. Ironically, the day of great name shows like Saunders, Katrantzou, Margiela and Temperley. But believe me, when the lows come, they come aplenty. So here’s my guide of what’s killing it and not in a good street -style slang way.
1. The logistical nightmare of Soho. We’re all trying v hard to get behind this new central venue which is bang in the midst of Soho in Brewer Street Car Park. The downside is that it’s bang in the midst of Soho. Which means even more traffic than norm, dug up streets, heaving crowds in a tight street outside the venue and less space to mill around. It’s that well known feeling like fighting through a particularly popular January sale and that’s in heels and full on outfit BEFORE you start the review of shows, the waiting and the live social media updates. Who said fashion was glamorous?
2. Venues more than half a mile from said central BFC venue. Venues strewn all over Holborn, Westminster and the East End is frankly taking the p a bit too much. For those without official LFW Mercs (and there are many of us), schlepping from venue to venue is our regular seasonal cross to bear. Not made easier with overlapping and late shows. Have you ever tried to get from W1 to E1 in 15 minutes? Exactly. Throw in aforementioned killer heels and you get the picture. And those lucky editors in Mercs? Oh, I reckon they’re still circumnavigating Old Compton Street (about 5 minutes walk away), still in their cars from 3pm today.
3. Venues in basements more than half a mile from said central BFC venue. Basements. Word up. It’s 2015. There’s no Wifi in basements which means all of us (print and online) cannot do our bit for London designers and promote the feck out of them and the glorious British Fashion Council. And frankly once one show is finished, it’s already too late. You’re on to the next. Schlep. Schlep. Opportunity lost.
4. Venues in hotels with dodgy Wifi or where you have to sign in with name, address, email, mother’s maiden name, inside leg measurement etc before they allow you access. Frankly, no one has time. No one has energy. Hotels are for loo stops pre post show and a quick canapé. If you are very, very lucky. Hotels need to quit this loathsome marketing data gathering. There are easier ways to get residents and guests onside.
5. Venues in basements in hotels with dodgy Wifi. You get the picture.
6. Venues or pit-stops where ‘the Cloud’ is the only option. You see it and groan inwardly. Has it EVER worked? Seriously? Just. Open. A. Vein. Now.
7. Apple. I have a love hate relationship with Apple. Love the products. Hate…no, loathe the frequent updates to IOS systems and the severe lack of battery power (this is a a big time FAIL). Yes, Apple, you would choose to make a huge update to our Apple devices midst LFW when power is low and we’re all striving to get social media updates out. And in some cases, trying to arrange quotes and TV appearances. Thanks for that. Please continue to mess with our careers/lives frequently. Or I could just change my phone/tablet. Idea.
8. Lack of communal transport. They may be hiding them but where are our press & buyers buses? Those were a Godsend. You don’t know what you miss until it’s not there.
9. The same celebs at every other show. I love the E4 ‘Made in Chelsea’ cast. I really do. But at every other show? The same faces? C’mon. London, we’re on slim pickings here.
10. Daft invitations. I bet you thought that fold up hat or glitter strewn invite was a great idea at the time? *folds stuff awkwardly and leaves glitter trail all over bag*