Release the inner WAG!

by Katie on August 23, 2010

Ok. So it happens to the best of us. I’m having a mid life tanorexia crisis. Or, that’s what my best gay friend says and you should always trust the opinion of your best A list gayers.

I recently bit the bullet more than half way and decided *shock* I was going to get a St Tropez all ovah body tan and release my inner WAG. I was going to stand there in paper pants doing the crab pose and being wispily sprayed. The streets are full of such fake tan girls and, just for once, I was going to be one of them.

If you know me (peely, wan, white with blue veins, Scottish, auburn hair, Modigliani muse type meets Tori Amos/Kate Bush) you’d realise just how WRONG this seems but oh my Lord, how RIGHT it feels. I’m tired with being pale and interesting and for a full 5 days (count ’em as that’s how long it lasts) I will be a Wagabee, a twiglet, a teak temptress. In my head anyway. I’m going from Dita to Evan in one fell swoop. Just as Marilyn Manson did.

Personally,I think it’s got more to do with how absolutely stunningly sexy and fabulous Evan Rachel Wood looks in the new Gucci Guilty ad. She’s all smooth and glistening and shiny and oh, I think I may have a girl crush purely because I wanna be like that. She gave up her whiteness. I’ll add her to the list of Daphne Guinness, Roisin Murphy, Sarah Jessica Parker and Dita von Teese. Talking of whom, I haven’t quite given up on. I usually favour that level of alabaster palid.

It’s hard to carry a tan with class. I was going for the ‘just arrived back from Mustique’ look favoured by Liz Hurley, India Hicks and Elle MacPherson types, who seem born to do it but you really need their level of panache (and lifestyle) to do it really well. Deep tan is not so pretty on your club bound, GHD hair straightened to brittle dryness, teak ‘bridge n tunnel’ types who, ever hopeful for a minor league footballer/gangster/club runner, go henceforth and hunt each weekend armed only with strong perfume and walnut tans. I mean, just think ‘The Saturdays’ and you’ll get my drift.

The tanning process itself was superb. I can absolutely and without doubt recommend St Tropez as the tan of choice. My tanning assistant, Abby, gave clear instructions at every step of the way. “What shade would you like? Are you going for a 1 or 2?” Now, that usually means something else so I refrained from answering until she explained that with my skin tone (the tan naturally adapts to your skin colour to look natural) she’d only recommend either a 1 or 2 shade. “I’ll tell you what,” she said, “…we’ll start with a ‘1’ and see how you feel.” I was doused with moisturiser on the right bits, positioned and sprayed. The colour change was instant. “Hell’s teeth. Keep going. I’m up for a ‘2’”.

As I sat at dinner then drinks with my friend (@redlegsinsoho) that night, she giggled as I slowly turned darker and darker with each glass of champagne. Lordy. We ended up comparing whether I was the colour of the leather sofa or the table in Hix bar. “I’ve done a Ross from Friends, haven’t I?”. “No, but you do look slightly tea stained, ” (Oh God!) “…and you smell a bit. Of digestive biscuits”. “That’ll be the tan till I wash it off”, I justified. So much for my new found sexiness.

It’s now day 1 of ‘tan’ me and I still like it. It makes me feel different. Like wearing a wig or having a haircut. Which, incidentally I did and had it straightened, courtesy of the super sexy Andy Uffels at the wonderful Philips press launch. Now there’s a man who can run his fingers through your hair.

I may take this up from time to time. Just loving St Tropez. I now have an instant urge to have blonde streaks. Save me from myself!

So, this I’ve discovered since I took on my golden glow:

Things you can do with a tan:-

– Swagger (quite a lot).
– Wear shorter skirts
– Give in to nude or beige lipstick (Finally after all these years!)
– Wear orange or yellow
– Lose (willingly , for a brief period) a few points from your IQ.
– Wear this season’s tan, camel and beige suede and leather as they REALLY look great.

Things you can’t do with a tan:-

– Be poetic and ephemeral
– Use my usual No 1 YSL Teint Resist Fluid Foundation
– Wear deep claret/red lipstick. (It just doesn’t work)
– Wear Galliano or Lanvin (Again, it just looks wrongity wrong).
– Douse myself in my sparkly vintage.

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To find out more about St Tropez spray tanning and their range of products, please visit

St Tropez have just released Everyday Perfect Legs £35.00 and St Tropez Instant Glow Shimmer Stick £15.00. The St. Tropez range is available across the UK at select retailers and salons. Call 0115 983 6363 for nearest stockist.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

RedlegsinSoho August 23, 2010 at 9:13 am

Looked fabulous at Salon D’Ete though didn’t you!


meredith August 24, 2010 at 1:27 pm

i love the st tropez instant face tan – it is the only realistic tint i think, and just washes off hurrah!


Cherie City August 26, 2010 at 2:07 pm

I was so impressed with your tan, it looked really natural.


Anonymous October 6, 2010 at 4:57 pm

I so agree.
Pale skin can be so beautiful, and it seems a waste when girls with that really pure white, opaque skin cover it with orange fake tan.

If my sickly skin was in better condition i.e. not so dry, blotchy, blue and veiny, I would wear pale skin with pride!


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