Chutzpah’s Weekly Barometer

by Katie on September 10, 2011

A light hearted look back over the past week’s good, bad and indifferent including the “don’t even go there’s”.

THE OPIATES ‘RAINY DAYS AND SATURDAYS‘ – For those readers too young to remember Electribe 101, Billie Ray Martin has been producing and singing sublime meisterwerks for over twenty years. Find out why the cognoscenti call her “The Queen of Electronic Soul” HERE. The Opiates’ album, ‘Hollywood Under the Knife’, follows soon with exclusive artwork from Turner Prize winner Wolfgang Tilmanns.

USING FASHION AS A WEAPON – Wallis Simpson’s modus operandi, apparently. We say, if you’ve got it WERK IT.

AZZARO – The coveted Parisian house hires former Hermes and Lanvin staffer Mathilde Castello Branco in one of the most intriguing appointments of the current industry merry-go-round. Expect discreet detail and luxury from the designer’s debut collection to be shown in January.

DSQUARED2’S ‘POTION’ – A new, decidedly butched-up men’s fragrance from Dean and Dan Caten, this heady mix of aromatic wood and Amber represents “a tool of seduction, conquer and emotions”.  One for the Katie perfume review list.

JAEGER AND THE CAMPAIGN FOR WOOL – Jaeger put their money where their mouth is with an Autumn/Winter menswear collection which uses 75% British wool. Toasty.

OJON REVERSE INSTANT RESTORATIVE HAIR SERUM (£22) – Designed for daily use, this  serum instantly tames frizz and flyaway’s whilst helping to repair and protect hair against damage from environmental aggressors, heat styling and chemical exposure.  It promises to leave hair was soft and smooth after one application – it’s on our must try list.

‘DOWNTON ABBEY‘ – Finally back, BACK, BACK!!! And on a grander scale too. Prepare to be seduced by the Crawley household all over again.  

T.M. LEWIN’S NATIONAL SHIRT EXCHANGE WEEK – The Jermyn Street tailor literally want the shirt off your back. Donate any shirt to housing and homelessness charity Shelter at your nearest T.M. Lewin store and buy a replacement from £22. Not only that, £2 from every new shirt sold will go to Shelter. That’s what we call a win/win situation!

MAC FALL COLOUR – MAC team up with art legend Cindy Sherman for a typically Technicolor campaign packed with Sherman’s conceptual portraiture and roleplay (left).  Lipsticks in plum bright and Violetta look more than interesting.

ELIZABETH TAYLOR – More current than when she was alive and the muse of the season. We’re certain she’ll be smiling.

HAMBURGER EYES AUCTION – An auction of prints from contributors to the acclaimed bi-annual photo journal magazine (including friend-of-the-Katie Chutzpah blog and mega-talent Brian David Stevens) ends Tuesday 13th September. Find out more HERE 

TULISA –  The new X Factor judge won us over on Vogue’s Fashion Night Out at the Coach store launch by just being so damn nice and un-starry. No entourage either, just a couple of her fashion gays and a laid back friendly attitude.  Cheryl, as if you didn’t realise it already, you are SO ovah!

THE AFTERMATH OF VOGUE’S FASHION’S NIGHT OUT – Aching livers and bank balances all round.

ROLLER DISCOS – It appears that our Katie’s not *quite* the roller disco whizz she thought she’d be…cue broken elbow.  If you see a redhead during LFW with unkempt hair (one handed hairdos don’t work) and a sling, that’ll be her.  Remember no pushing her in the queues!

LIFESTYLE SHAMING – A worrying new trend in menswear advertising which started at the Mr. Porter launch, and is seen in the current Edun campaign. Not only do men need to live up to unattainable aesthetic ideals through zero body fat and pecs bigger than their heads, they now also need to be award-winning humanitarians, artists, activists, and entrepreneurs. Drop the pressure and show us some real men.

SIZE ZERO COCKTAILS – Pointless and pretentious microscopic invention of one Notting Hill bar. This could only happen in That London – as they’d just be called “shooters” everywhere else*  (*Any town with a naff Tiger Tiger-style meat rack which plays Black Eyed Peas and David Guetta).

LEGGINGS – We second Jil Sander’s wish to ban them. Especially on men.

MULBERRY – For subjecting us to the horrible din of Kasabian in the name of fashion. Look, Christopher Bailey & Burberry have the indie cool thing down pat, just accept it, move along and find your own schtick.

NAVAHO – Yet another trend that we’ll be sick of by the time Winter properly hits, thanks to some cheap and nasty chainstore bandwagon jumping.

OUR FELLOW PASSENGERS – Yes, YOU!  Stood there on public transport with your leaky paper coffee cup dripping all over my outfit, or determined to skim the Metro in a carriage crammed nose-to-nipple. Have some respect for everybody else.

BRIONI – Drops womenswear and Alessandro Dell’Acqua just as it’s starting to get interesting. We still haven’t forgiven Cerruti for pulling the same trick with Richard Nicoll – and we have LONG memories.

‘THE KATE EFFECT’ – Any designer seen intentionally courting the Duchess of Cambridge over London Fashion Week will receive NIL POINTS. Hmm, we’ve eyeing chintzy Erdem as a sure thing already.

GQ’S MEN OF THE YEAR AWARDS – We were left (initially) speechless by social climbing Dylan Jones’ hateful orgy of brown-nosing. Creepy Conservative bean counter George Osborne’s Politician of the Year award? Band of the Year (“Dylan says thanks for the lift to Glasto guys!”) U2? Most Stylish Man to genuinely-great-actor-but-man-most-likely-to-be-found-wandering-Camden-in-a-bowler-hat, Matt Smith? Tommy Hilfiger’s award for Designer of the Year sparked a flurry of incredulous Tweets from fashion insiders wondering what he had actually designed this year, let alone the last twenty. Still, Matt brought pneumatic, lace-clad girlfriend Daisy Lowe with him, which’ll fulfil Dylan’s weak stims quota for the next few months.

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