Chutzpah’s Weekly Barometer

by Katie on February 3, 2012

A light hearted look back over the past week’s good, bad and indifferent including the “don’t even go there’s”.


The Halcyon Gallery – Their extension move to New Bond Street thrills more than the surrounding fashion stores. Works by Katie’s faves, the astounding Chihuly, Mauro Perucchetti and Eve Arnold ensure this set of galleries is top of the list for sheer beautiful inspiration.

Tilda – Single-handedly saving red carpet fashion one event at a time. Awesome in Ackermann. Luscious in Lanvin. Get this woman a Vogue cover NOW!

Marc Newson for PENTAX – Newson teams up with ‘keeping ahead of the curve’ PENTAX to create the PENTAX K-01, a modern digital camera with a contemporary and classic design. Newson worked with three design themes in mind, Timeless, Trusty and Touchable and we’re sure this would be a point-and- shoot boon for covering the forthcoming LFW collections. (Priced at £629.99 from March 2012).

Arch Angel by MeMeMe – Firstly, its a genius name. Secondly, love the idea of a dual tinted brow gel & highlighter as opposed to scratchy hard liner to sculpt and define brows. Available from 8th April in Superdrug stores at a bargainous £8.50.

Markus Lupfer – It’s been a long time coming but the University of Westminster graduate is having a bit of a moment, thanks to his collaboration with Shu Uemura and Madonna’s artwork for her forthcoming ‘Give Me All Your Luvin’ single.

Three Customer Colour – US company which promises to recreate discontinued make-up shades from a small sample.

Big Linda – Out of all the ’90s supermodels Linda Evangelista was always our favourite, and now she covers the new issue of Love magazine shot by the ubiquitous duo Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott

Pedro Almodovar – The cult Spanish director steps out from behind the camera to front the Spring/Summer Missoni campaign, along with muses Blanca Suarez and Rossy De Palma.
Fashion East Menswear – A storming menswear line-up has been announced by Fashion East this week, including William Richard Green, and Astrid Andersen – whose lace-panelled sportswear singled her out as One to Watch last season. – Game-changing e-commerce site from former Hugo Boss designer Bruno Pieters. Limited edition ethical designs with traceable provenance and a transparent pricing structure ensure buyers know they’re getting their money’s worth.

Hugo Guinness for Coach – High-end, U.S. luggage brand Coach buddies up with British-born, Brooklyn-based graphic artist for a capsule collection of totes and small leather accessories. Team Chutzpah would really like the ticking stripe wallet, and it is his birthday in March #justsaying

‘Bill Cunningham New York’ – Cinematic profile of street fashion photography legend gets UK release. Forget Tommy Ton and The Sartorialist, it’s Bill who Anna Wintour gets dressed for.

Valentina by Valentino’s shower gel and body lotion – One of the best fragrance releases from last year adds to its rage by incorporating a bath collection into its stable. Priced £28 and £30 respectively, these give a glorious burst of big floral creaminess.

Gregg Wallace’s restaurant – If Gregg thinks cooking doesn’t get any tougher than ‘Masterchef’ then we don’t have high expectations for the ’70s-themed menu at his new restaurant in Bermondsey Square.

Prosseco – As in, ‘served tepid at cheap launches masquerading as moneyed by brands who should know better’ and not as it should be, at lunch on an Italian holiday. Please cease and desist. No one likes a kidder.

Brand Beckham – Hysteria reached epic proportions this week as David Beckham finally launched his underwear collaboration with H&M, and the high street was flooded with extreme close-ups of his crotch. Meanwhile, Victoria unveiled her diffusion line to an equally agitated – and quite possibly, mentally ill crowd, judging by the ensuing waiting lists.

Primarni – Okay, so we understand the Brits-themed Jessie J T-shirts but we’re wondering if the average Primark customer even owns a Jam or Public Image Ltd record?

Baking cupcakes as a suggested therapy to cure depression – Golly gosh! Now why didn’t I bring that up in my Hons Psych degree finals? At least the offending consumer mag (again, who really should know better) altered the online article after a twitter storm. Seems that women’s titles these days opt for the Holly Hobby school of writing rather than well researched and informative treatments of sensitive subject matters. I don’t know whether I’m more offended by the commissioning of this piece or the low regard for its average reader. Huge tsk.

Nicola McLean – Oh give it a rest luv. Nobody cared about you before ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ and everyone gives even less of a damn now.
Halle Berry for Deichmann – However, we do feel sorry for former Oscar winner Halle Berry, who’s been forced to shill cheap shoes for German retailer Deichmann. The last celebrities we can remember working with the footwear chain were The Sugababes – and we all know how that went.
Emanuel Ungaro – More redundancies announced following Giles Deacon’s departure, let’s hope someone steps in to save the failing Parisian fashion house before it crumbles completely.
Kodak – While PENTAX raise the bar with design and functionality, Kodak is example of a historic company refusing to adapt to survive, we’ll be mourning the day when “That Kodak moment” is replaced by Instagram.
Geri Halliwell and Next – Both long-past their sell-by dates, and now reviving the hideous Union Flag dress which Geri sported at the 1997 Brit Awards (thankfully with a lower hem this time, we’d rather not be subjected to Ginger’s postpartum undercarriage) to promote a range “designed” by the “singer”.
Pussycat Trolls 2.0 Rubbish gays and teenage boys rejoice! Robin Antin’s troupe of untalented table dancers is back, BACK, BACK!!! This time featuring 3 singers, instead of just 1, as well as the usual surfeit of ex-cheerleaders, we literally can’t wait to hear how they top “I don’t give a beep if you’re looking at my beep ‘cause it ain’t no beep if you’re looking at my beep”, which remains a benchmark in moronic lyricism to this day.

Shirley Maclaine in ‘Downton Abbey’ – No doubt playing some awful arriviste who locks horns with Maggie Smith’s dowager countesszzzzzzz…..

Sienna Miller’s pregnancy – The mag-hags love to get a froth-on over celebrity pregnancies but we had to laugh this week as title after title fell over each other to “exclusively” reveal Sienna’s impending motherhood – after the usually risible Daily Mail ran the story on the 6th of January. Have you checked your phone messages Sienna?

The Weekly Barometer is compiled by Lee Clatworthy (@Teamchutzpah) and Katie Chutzpah.  Please let us know what you think of this week’s entries by leaving a comment in the box below. Thank you.
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